First of all, here's a huge hug for you!
I'm sorry you're having a rough time, I'm struggling as well right now and I understand...

I wish I could help you... All I can do is tell you that it's not a shame that you need more help. If your T doesn't get it, then she might not be the right T for you.
It sounds as if you're in crisis mode now. If you are, then you need to contact a/another professional soon.

Have you considered getting another T for weekly sessions along with the T you are seeing now?