Joe-Anna, so you know about the "trick." My impression is that they have no idea that its transparent, and, yes, that is kind of funny. I wonder if they even know, themselves, that this is a maneuver that they're pulling. They probably really think they are being generous by offering to let you have the floor for a fleeting second or two.

Your problem of needing this kind of interaction of listening to others' problems, which I understand better now, is sort of a mystery to unravel. Does it, maybe, give you a feeling of closeness that doesn't exist otherwise? Maybe you genuinely do have an interest in other people that helps you cope with depression.

As I re-read your post above, I think I see more what you are talking about. You really are depressed. I won't tell you to go to a T. That doesn't work for me either. I think you are very perceptive in seeing this kind of interpersonal activity for what it is - you being used. It just popped into my head that people with emotional problems sometimes go in the direction of being used, as a way of having some basis to function on. I do it, too. I've done it in some very unhealthy ways. I honestly don't know how to explain it. It's not a good way to live.

I know what you mean about the religious angle. I used to think I was being very charitable and kind for being so available to others. A year ago, I stopped looking at it that way. I am not building up some vast store of spiritual "credit" in heaven that I can draw on some day. I feel like I've just been wasting my life. Maybe, as children, we somehow got conditioned into having this response . . . and feeling like it gave our lives meaning. (?)