I think you should leave him, because he is not being apologetic or concerned.
I have dated (eating together at restaurants, emails, and a few light kisses, and then other things intervened, but eventually I plan to resume dating him) a guy who has bipolar and is an Aspie.
He double checked with me; he worried that perhaps his facial expressions did not communicate his true feelings properly, etc. In other words, he was apologetic and concerned.
I would not have OPTED into dating an Aspie intentionally, because I am the exact opposite of that (I am great at reading between the lines... reading facial expressions of others... having animated facial expression and body language myself, etc.), but, since I, sort of, ended up with this guy without choosing him (he did not say he had Asperger's for several months), I now say: "OK, an Aspie is still a person so why not?? He is concerned and a bit apologetic, so we can make things work."
And your Husband is not concerned, nor apologetic.
So I think it cannot work.
I am sorry to say, but it seems that he misled you into marrying him - he professed to be concerned, but then dropped the ball.
I am sorry, but it seems that the earlier you separate yourself from him, the more mental energy you will have left - and you need the mental energy on account of the situation with your dad. You cannot waste your mental energy now.
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