I don’t know how much longer I can do this. My mom won’t stop talking at me. I’ll be busy doing something like watching TV, or in my room on the computer, or playing a game, and she just gets in my face and starts talking to me about my weight or telling me about how much of a horrible child I was. She can’t stop telling me about how fat I was or how I need to lose more weight to look “normal” or talking about how much everyone hated me as a kid because I was such a pain. My brother is 12 years old and she loves to talk about how much of a better kid he is than how I was at 12 years old and how everyone likes him while people couldn’t stand to be around me.

She’ll just go on and on about how my 15 year old sister is so diligent and hardworking while saying I was lazy and useless at 15. She’ll make fun of me for having “bad grades” and being “lazy” and “unproductive”. On a 4.0 scale, I had a 3.6 at age 15. I was in National Honors Society. My sister has a 3.78. And yet I was “lazy” and I had “bad grades”. I don’t understand why she has to mock me for being 0.78 lower than her, when I never was trying to go into anything academic and ESPECIALLY considering that she knew I had severe ADHD and never bothered to get me treatment. My first priority was always music. I try to defend her and tell her that. I tell her that I clearly can’t be lazy because I have been fairly successful musically for someone my age, and she just blows it all off and says “that didn’t require any real work. You just got lucky. You’ll fail when you stop being lucky and have to actually put time into it”.

I try to ignore her. I try to continue what I am doing and make it obvious that I’m not interested. She keeps talking at me and I can’t just tune her out. If I tell her that I’m preoccupied or busy, she starts making fun of me for watching TV. She starts calling me lazy and immature based off of whatever I’m watching AND THEN SHE KEEPS ON TALKING. I walk away, and she follows me. I go to the bathroom, she talks through the door. Sometimes, she’ll follow me to the shower. If I tell her to leave me alone, she explodes and starts screaming at me and I get triggered even worse out of fear that she’ll hurt me.

I CAN’T TAKE THIS.