The inevitable fight about my future employment happened today. You know, the one that I'm told to find a teaching job, I've finally gotten tired of it and stick up for myself, and then put in my place for saying anything at all. I always get very upset and cry, but for a day or two afterwards, it totally takes away my emotions....not disassociation, no emotions, and makes me determined to do something about it. It's a feeling I enjoy immensely. It takes away my anxiety and focuses my attention on a goal. I just wish the feeling would last long enough to actually make a difference.