Has she ever actually screamed at you outside? When she has been visible outside (not from the safety of the house)? I ask because I always carried the fear with me, but in fact, my mother never behaved that way where anyone could see or hear her.

I think you're right that you don't need to worry about how you'll use your license; right now, the power is in getting it.

And I do think it's all about control. It's not about you (I know how difficult it is to believe in that), it's about her need to control--for her reasons.