It's just I can't even really stand the thought of anything to do with sex lately. For some reason it just seems to scare me? I dunno. I'm finding it hard to put it into words. I don't even want to be touched.

I apologised to him last night for not really being a girlfriend anymore. It's like we're not a couple. And then it turned into a discussion about breaking up and guilt and if I'm a lesbian! :/

Part of me wonders if we should break up. I'm holding him back, he's basically put his life on hold for me and I'm not making any progress. And he said himself if I end up being successful in an attempt to end my life then he will be racked with guilt for the rest of his life.

My head is all over the place today.