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Originally Posted by LarSo
Are you speaking from your experience or is this opinion. I'm looking for help from like minded people who have wrestled with this problem.
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My post was mainly about what you wrote on a previous thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by LarSo
I have been married 45 years and am frustrated because my I have not been able to have intercourse with my wife for the past several years and I miss it badly. She has hormonal deficiencies and can't use gels and as result, her vagina is extremely dry and inflexible, so intercourse is ultra painful. She's consulted physician specialists but to no avail. I have had extramarital relationships for sex as I see no other way for me to have intercourse. I have kept this secret from her because I don't know how to present the idea, as I think she'd be unhappy. I'm unhappy doing it but enjoy sex. Are there any other options?
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And yes, I do have some experience, thankyou, in both situations. Except I am looking at this from your wife's side. I am considerably younger than you, like your wife, I cannot control my body (except mine isn't caused by hormones) but I have a supportive, faithful partner. Luckily.
I find from your post that you do not address a few things. I do imagine that your wife has gone through the menopause, as well as suffering pain. The menopause also causes some difficulty with sex and feeling sexy. You show little understanding of this. From a person who has pain like your wife, I find it very hard to see your point of view and it seems you show little empathy towards her with your posts, and you're being quite selfish - whatever happened to 'in sickness and health'? Sure, you do have needs, but those can be addressed without having an affair. You mention that she would be unhappy if she knew, and she would probably be unhappy with you setting up a little arrangement, yet you still want to go ahead? You know that you will hurt her? Even if she does agree to you having sex elsewhere, you will may make her feel dreadful for something that is no fault of her own, and that she would be cornered into agreeing, rather than lose you as a husband. Obviously this is an 'opinion' on the last bit, but it's an educated one because you already stated she will not be happy.
Do you really want to make her go through this, because you cannot think outside of your pants? You actually make me a sad that you are even considering this, especially as you're not a young man and you've had a wonderful (you say) marriage for 45 years. It's like the last bit wasn't important enough to consider her feelings now.
If you want a lot of us here to give you some kudos with having affairs, I am afraid you may just find support thin on the ground. You can post as many times as you like about it, but I don't suspect the outcome will be different. I simply don't think there are many 'like-minded' people here, as you put it when it comes to affairs.