I think it is the girls you are dating then. People that come from abusive enviroments often feel like it is normal to be at someone else's control. For them, that is what love feels like. They may know it is abuse, but they may not care enough about themselves to want it to stop. It sounds crazy that people would put up with it, but a life of tramatic events can lead people to make bad decisions for themselves.

I think you can find someone out there that is into you. Sounds like you have had a bad run of girlfirends. You shouldn't blame yourself. There isn't anything wrong with being nice or kind. The girls you have gone out with lack appreciation or have their own issues that make them feel like they don't deserve to be treated well. That is their problem, not yours.