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Old Aug 09, 2013, 08:01 AM
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growlithing growlithing is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom View Post
Maybe just some ice for the bruises

Anyone laying hands on a child sufficient to cause bruises is abusing that child. Period.

Bruises from my mother were not unusual for me. But there was one time, during an instance of abuse, when my father "manhandled" me in anger and caused multiple bruises over most of my body. I was 9, and took some of my mother's make-up to try to hide them--not successfully. But no one said a word about it.

That incident kept coming back over several years in therapy, revisiting it again and again. It took that long for it to lose its power and pain for me. It was one incident.

What you suffered was real. And you will need to come to terms with that with the help of your T. But it happened when you were a child. You were young, you were small, you literally couldn't survive without your parents.

Those feelings don't respect the boundaries of time and space, and I think the more they are unacknowledged, the more loudly they demand to be noticed.

The reality is that you are now older, you are bigger, and you have the power of survival now. It doesn't mean you can't feel hurt and scared, but you are no longer defenseless.

Try to tell yourself that you will protect yourself--even if you don't believe that you can and don't know what you would do. Reassure yourself that your feelings are very real, but from the past. Today, you can protect yourself. Keep repeating it--don't worry about the how.
I am much bigger. My mom couldn't hurt me if she wanted to. I'm much bigger and stronger than her.

I know you're right. I know that bruising a kid is abuse. Sometimes, I feel like maybe I just bruise easily so I start hitting myself to see. I don't think I bruise super easily but I'm still not convinced. I don't know why I can't just accept that I was abused and move on with my life.

But I am about 4-5 inches taller than her and I weigh more too. Trying to hurt me now would be stupid on her part. I don't know why I'm still scared