My double diagnosis of Bipolar II and BPD has made my life miserable since I was a pre-teen. Job and personal relationship instability. People do not react to me well, and then I get to a point where I no longer want to be in the presence of others because I feel they will probably reject me anyway. This is probably just an aberration of the mental illness -- I hate those words, "mental illness," but I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that I am, indeed, mentally ill and need help. Although on medication (which helps some) going to psychotherapy I fight tooth and nail, because who wants to reveal their most shameful acts to another in order to face these things? Why my wife has stayed with me all these years is a mystery, but I'm sure glad she did.