Quote:
Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet
Why do you expect that? What if I just want to lie in bed all day and watch cartoons? I understand how this makes one undateable, but the only other option is just to conform to someone else's needs for the express purpose of acquiring a date with them.
Wouldn't that be dishonest of me?
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I think I agree that would be dishonest if that were the only reason you changed. But the thing I've noticed is often the thing that causes me to change and the things that keep me changed are two different things. So while it may seem to be dishonest in the beginning because of my motivation, it wouldn't always be so.
I can see what hamster's saying and agree. For me, it all goes back to compatibility. What am i willing to bring to the table and what is she bringing to the table? If I want to lay around and watch cartoons all day, that's great, but what am i bringing to someone's table who loves rock climbing? I should be focusing my attention towards someone who would share my love for Buggs Bunny and amaze her with my 60 inch LCD and sick surround sound.
I realize that's somewhat extreme, but...
The promlem I have with dating is that I may seem compatable for a little while, only to realize that in reality I'm not. For example, not long ago I met someone I had been communicating with on-line, off and on for almost three years. We met in person once a couple of years ago and the whole bipolar thing scared her off back then because of a bipolar family member she was having a lot of trouble with. I can understand her apprehension. But even though we didn't date, we still stayed in touch and that was fine. She had everything in the world going for her and I felt like she and I were both bringing our best to the table which all looked great. Soon after we started seeing each other regularly, I realized she likes to drink. There's nothing wrong with drinking as I drink on occasion myself. So that's not a deal breaker. But I noticed she drank a lot... every time we were together. She often became very obnoxious and argumentative the more she drank. She quite often went out of her way to find things about me to criticize (there are plenty) and would hold on to it beyond embarrassment and on to humiliation. Needless to say, it didn't work out. If I need to be kicked, im quite proficient at kicking myself. So even though we were compapable to an extent, apparently we weren't comparable enough.
Anyway...