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First, let me say I always chuckle to myself when they refer to patients of a mental illness as "clients". I guess they feel it is less provocative? Secondly, at least you have friends. My BPD and Bipolar has caused me not to have any, and it is, indeed, lonely. Something you said bothers me, however. You said, "I'm not even sure I'm worth the trouble of saving" truly saddens me. You are a child of God and, consequently, of course you are worth saving. The problem is what you must do in order to feel "worthy" yourself. Take it from one who knows. Yes, I'm on meds, but find it difficult to go to a therapist because, as you undoubtedly know, we sufferers will do almost anything to avoid facing our deepest feelings of shameful acts we feel we have committed. Of course, in my case there is every legitimate reason to find most, if not all, my past actions worthy -- there's that word again -- of calling them and knowing there is good and real reason to call them "shameful."