I can't believe it. I was so happy and content with my life a year or two a go and now im a mess again and back to my old borderline self.

I think im still in the phase where my 'inner borderline' is telling me that its fine and that I might as well do more now the damage has been done. I should feel worse than this and i think the guilt and shame is around the corner it just hasnt hit me yet.

I really need to forgive myself for this, or else im going to struggle dealing with it.