Quote:
Originally Posted by dumbfounded
evaluating, over evaluating... monitoring oneself always...
honestly, I don't even think I'm honest with myself about where I am at most of the time. I know how to play the game! that is my focus. I know how to handle being hypo and not letting people on to the fact. Same with depression. that one is much harder to hide, but during those weeks I do a pretty damn impressive job nonetheless.
I know that if I were to examine every mood shift that I had during the day I would drive myself crazy. It used to scare me feeling the shifts once I knew what to look for. I don't like feeling sick. I do feel sick when I open up and let someone in though.
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Yes! Sounds quite like me... I would certainly go crazy monitoring every mood shift or emotion throughout the day or then worrying what/if/when the next big bad one is coming on. If it's going to come, it's going to come. Enjoy the now & conserve the worry energy for when/if the next one is on.
I hide the hypo quite well, like you're saying. I'm sliding through somehow, still making it to work, feeding the kids. I like my privacy - tell very few about my dx. Most judge and don't understand (oooh she's bp - scary, unpredictable blah blah), so none of their business.
Mixed or depression - way hard to hide - cuz I cry a lot, feel crazy, start telling people how bad I want to break things or hurt myself. Those times I keep to myself, hide out, only talk to the most trusted people.
I don't see the need to notify your wife of every mood, I think it would be a lot of false alarms... But as your partner, she should know you'll ask for support when you need it... Like if you're in the thick of it, so she knows it's not her fault or anything.