Chances are, they won't be able to tell if you have your guard up or down as you sound like a pretty reserved person!

I have a loooot of trust issues. I tend to befriend people on the assumption that at some point, they're going to bail out.

I don't share too much of importance with people - and I start out gradually and only share bits at a time really. It can be really hard. I'll withdraw from it quickly if I think that they aren't as trustworthy as I thought... and I rarely give a second chance in that regard.

Do you go to see a T? They would be able to work with you to try to work through some of this!