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I tried to find a good reference on the internet but unfortunately could not. It’s my understanding that during normal development a baby/toddler needs someone or someones in their social environment to "mirror" them in order to get to know themselves, to get a sense of who they are and want to be. The need for the “mirrowing” and a healthy need to be seen (“Look at me!”) are natural in most children. That’s what I understand by “narcissism”. Most of this idea is from Heinz Kohut’s book Restoration of the Self, although of course I may have mangled his ideas badly. When things "go wrong" -- a child doesn't get enough mirrowing or their parents aren't good role models, for instance -- then the child's personality may not develop well. The 2007 book Disorders of the Self by Marshall Silverstein describes how Kohut's theory can be applied to personality disorders other than just NPD. In particular, he describes avoidant PD as an "unmirrrored self". My guess would be that your lack or unawareness of grandiose fantasies is consistent with that idea. Hope this helps, ignore if it doesn't. I probably had OCPD before I fell apart, most recently diagnosed with PDNOS although I'm making good progress on that. But this stuff is danged hard to deal with, that's for sure.
Last edited by here today; Aug 09, 2013 at 10:31 PM.
Reason: spelling
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