I don't think crazy is necessarily a bad thing, are you hearing voices? Your mom sounds like she's the one who really needs help. I used to be abusive like that to people I cared about, before my first round of psychiatric treatment, I would do the same kind of cruel things to my brother, animals etc... Then I would hug them and tell them I was sorry (I genuinely was) and that I would hope they didn't do whatever it was that made me mad again. So I messed up and made the same mistakes that were made with me, then I felt bad about it because I knew exactly how they felt being so defenseless against the abuse.

I don't think feeling your mom might poison you is part of a paranoid delusion, especially if she'd poisoned you before. On the other hand the food could've expired and maybe she didn't put anything in there, per-say. I used to get that way about food when I was a child, I thought my parents hated me so much that they would poison me so I was scared to eat when my anxiety got really high. If I could go back and rewind time I would've reported the abuse to the authorities. Especially knowing now, since hindsight is always 20/20, that I had other family members that could've taken better care of me.