& on one level, I really think it is..but,

I was taught from when I was a child, that my brown hair was disgusting. Especially from my blonde mother, who caused me to dye it several times during my early teens. Lately, I've met guys who go on & on about blondes, but never about brunettes either..so in a way, it reinforces my feelings of hatred against myself.

I noticed a few things in life also: I was always labeled as a tomboy, even though I was not masculine. I was always told to cut my hair, because long brown hair isn't popular, only blonde. Whenever I hear a guy go on about his gf/wife, if she's blonde, he will mention it..if he doesn't mention her hair color, she's a brunette. I've never been told I was a pretty, besides by other girls & 1 guy who said that blondes were the best, so I didn't even care for his comments.

I don't think my hair color is the only reason that I've never been asked on a date in my entire life (& I'm 22 btw & not even fat), but I think it is definitely 1 factor of it. Now, I'm obsessed with it. If I see a guy with a brunette, it is a good day. If I see only guys with blondes for most of the day, I get upset. So, pretty much every day lately for the past few months, I've been waking up very angry & getting upset with myself because I feel so inadequate.

I know that at some point, even if I manage to get a boyfriend, I have to deal with how I feel about myself. But I really do not see how I can feel good about myself, when practically everybody my entire life has told me that I wasn't good enough & still to this day, no guys even like me.