I feel compelled to come and check in. My last entry was about the high I was riding. I've now gone into the days of sleeplessness that follows the high but portends the low that is coming. Within this time, I get snappy with anyone who presumes to direct me for any reason, whether good for me or good for them.

Yes, it happened today which was one of the keys that told me this episode was about to begin. Right on time, here comes the all nighters. I used to paint and within this time of my cycles I got the most accomplished. Looking at those paintings now, you can see the dysfunction my neurons were going through. Some days it amazes me that if one looks, one can see the thought patterns that aren't completely connected. In art, they term that genius; in day to day living, it's dysfunction.

Part of this cycle is coming to terms with the trauma associated with the tooth extractions and learning to live with an upper plate. I have to give props to my Poppie. It's nice to have had an experienced 'user' to turn to with the strange questions that come up when learning to use such an unusual appliance. He's been just great. I'm sure that being able to help me, and his being obviously happy with my trusting him with those questions, throws him for a loop when the 'other side' comes up and I snap because of some innocuous question put to me which was meant with no harm at all. I feel such guilt when I think of that in reflective moments.

So, to sum up me at this moment: I can't sleep; my gums hurt; I'm at a place where I want zero interruptions; and, I'm wary of the down that is coming. Usually I would expect the 'down' about five to seven days from now. However, with the trauma, it could come sooner or later. I'm banking on sooner. Especially with the prospect of my disability hearing scheduled for August 14th. By then I think I'll be lucky to avoid being Baker Acted in Tampa, Florida.

Damn, I just realized - four days - only four days. ::