You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine if I wasn't in therapy right now things would've just gotten much worse. I was in so much pain when I first started to go to therapy, my level was moderate to severe and I was on no pain pills just "medical" weed. I found a therapist who helps people with addictions, chronic pain and a garden variety of mental disorders using CBT and other techniques. Its completely changed my attitude and the way I look at things. It made the nightmares less intense, less frequent, gave me the courage to stop smoking weed, made so much of the pain go away, I've learned self compassion and compassion for others. It makes me wonder how long I've had the spasms, since weed is anti-spasmodic, analgesic and my main excuse for using it was to calm my anger and reduce my stress/anxiety. Then out of nowhere I started getting acute psychotic symptoms and acute panic reactions from it, so I knew I had to stop.

Post more pointers if ya got 'em, I'm already been doing the following. Eat some Tryptophan containing foods before bed high in protein, nuts, seeds, cheese, yogurt, eggs. Usually sunflower seeds. Wearing socks, going to bed between 10-11pm to give my liver its time to detox, waking up in the morning, eating a balanced breakfast, avoiding caffeine, nicotine and sugar. Keeping the room cool at night, wearing eye covers to block out any light from the city outside, turning the lights off an hour before bed. All this stuff seemed to work when I was also exercising every day, but lately I've been slacking on the exercise due to the injury and my sleep has been suffering because of it.

I discussed some things I felt ashamed about in therapy yesterday and my mind wouldn't stop racing last night, it seemed like it took forever before I fell asleep. Then my sleep cycle was interrupted badly, I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare wide awake feeling energetic and it took me 3 hours to fall back asleep because my head wouldn't stop replaying the memories back to me. Seems like every time I judge myself this happens, its like who I used to be is my own worst enemy. I became the person I never wanted to be growing up. Now all that is changing so I'm a bit confused.