Try a new toy like a paddle or a beginner's flogger (not that scary and I bet she'll go for it!). Last night I used a flogger for the first time and though I was really nervous I enjoyed seeing him wince and I knew it didn't cause too much pain because I was communicating with him to make sure he was feeling all right. And then I decided to let him try it on me which is unusual because I thought that would scare me even more, but I trusted him and it actually felt so amazing the way he did it so very gently and he spanked me as well. And this is coming from someone very sensitive to pain.

A painless way to be rough with her is through bondage. You can buy restraints that either hook up to bedposts or you tuck them under the bed, but you can restrain her and bite her or use the flogger on her.

The most important aspect of this is open communication. If you act out a scene with her, keep asking her how she is feeling, if she needs you to go harder or gentler, if she wants you to go faster or slower. That is so important. It is important because she knows you respect her and don't want to push her boundaries.