Virus, I agree with winter...you are very hard on yourself. Your reactions to these things does not make you whiny, stupid, disgusting, or a freak. But if you want to learn better coping skills that's okay too. In my experience though it's really hard to change stuff that we hold onto (positive or negative), especially stuff about ourselves. And as long as you're living in shame it's going to be really difficult to let go of your fears and the way you react to them.
Are you willing to accept the idea that your fears do not make you a bad person? Or at least consider the possibility of one day maybe being open to it?