Wolfgang, I have the same problem. It's part of my OCD. I have EXTREMELY disturbing thoughts and when they are really bad I cannot leave my house. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb and I am going to break any second and start killing people, or just hurting them very badly, or turn into some kind of demon.
I have disturbing thoughts about hitting/kicking/beating/murdering adults, even ones that I care about. I have disturbing and distressing thoughts about doing things to children and animals. And I have thoughts about doing disgusting things that I won't mention openly in this thread but if you really want to know I am willing to share them in private. I HATE them. And sometimes I think that makes them worse. Because for me it would be one thing if it was a thought. But it's also somewhat of an urge. I frequently panic because I think I'm a serial killer in waiting and at any moment I am going to snap and become my 'true self'.
Usually people laugh off my concerns and tell me that I'm taking it too seriously and that if I were indeed a serial killer I'd have become one by now (I'm 34). Who knows, maybe they're right. It still doesn't take the power out of my thoughts. And I still cannot be alone around children or animals. I really really want to get another cat (our family cat died a few years ago and recently I have been thinking it might be time for a pet) but I'm afraid that I will be triggered. That maybe one day I will slip up and hurt it, or worse.
So yeah. I get where you're coming from. One thing I have been told, that actually does work (because it helps take the power out of it) is to look at the thoughts with a sort of curious interest. As in, Hmmm, that's interesting. What's going on there?
I know that probably sounds hokey. But when I do that I am automatically objectifying them and they no longer have the power to hurt because they have made the transition between force and object.
Hope that helps. Hope you're still hangin' around. It would be good to hear more from you.