Hi everyone I'm new to this forum/site. I have been reading the threads here and have tremendous appreciation for those of you who have been posting about your struggles and going through so much.

I just started therapy with a new therapist after my previous long-term one was unable to continue her practice due to personal reasons. (That ending was actually well-processed between myself and the former T; not to be glib, just trying to be concise.)

I started with this new woman a few months ago. I am lesbian. I was immediately aware of my potential attraction to her when I met her, but (and this sounds rather reckless now) I just thought, "oh what the heck." LOL. I guess I thought that her being appealing to me in that way could be an aside, like some pleasant, unobtrusive background music at a dinner party, you know? Because, um, therapy is just like that. And then there was the whole difficulty of finding the right person I could work with again. I found her relatively easy to talk to. So I wanted to give it a shot.

Since then, I have learned that she is women-oriented too, and some other things about her that basically make me wish I had met her under other circumstances and, of course, was in a position to offer her something when I did.

She has been on vacation. I am not quite at that point of tremendous pain that I can predict now -after much reflection and reading- given the whole set-up, and I have been toying with quitting. I feel like someone who has a touch of the flu, knowing they are going to be very, very, sick shortly. Maybe I have even lost the will to leave already, but that's what I wonder if I should do.

Thanks.