hi Robflee,
I am very sorry you feel so low. I wish I could send you good vibes at distance, so you feel better. I do not know how to say this, but sometimes it works for me what Francis said "I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love..."
I know by my own experience that it is difficult to get out of ourselves to reach others when we are in pain. But anyway, even if you just look to comfort a stranger, in my experience, you can generate some dynamics around you and sooner or later somebody special may come to encounter you. Of course, you may have to reach out others without great expectations, just for the sake of doing it. just to try something new.
IMO, in addition to our individual medical conditions, the world is not a good place today because people are too closed to the others, we are taught to be individualistic, we are taught to sell ourselves, to market ourselves, we scrutinize ourselves as we were merchandise, we feel very unhappy because we find ourselves not to be good enough. Sometimes, reaching out can be a way of getting through. Think about it. I wish you the best