Hello, Rapid. Welcome. First, I'm glad you're doing well and that your BP is well managed. I have a history of problems with depression and anxiety. So, I cannot personally relate to BPI but can relate to the depression part. However, I used to think I'd never be better and never be off of medicine. I'm here to say that I have been free from medication for a year. So, you never know.

You will find a variety of opinions on EMDR on here (and elsewhere). Me, I am a proponent of EMDR. My T uses EMDR as part of her psychotherapy toolkit. I have done EMDR maybe 5 times. I actually just did EMDR in my last session two weeks ago. I have found it to be very helpful and effective for me the times that I have done it. However, I don't necessarily enjoy it. It is hard, a bit emotional, and a bit odd, for lack of a better word. Sitting and "talking" with my T is much more easy and fun. When I have subjects that just are really difficult to overcome, though, EMDR has really helped me move past that item that is blocking me. I guess I would say that it really speeds up the process of processing.

I am wondering why you are already thinking of "EMDR targets," though, especially since you are finding it upsetting. I know that every T has their own way of doing things. For me, the topics on which I use EMDR are topics, as I said, that are just hard for me to move through and past in therapy. So, the reason I did EMDR last week was because there was a topic a week before that T and I had discussed a number of times. I was having little improvement in that area; so, T said, "Let's do EMDR on that next session." It did help. It really does help speed up the processing. However, I don't recommend just worrying about what you are going to handle with EMDR. That does not seem to be helpful for you right now.

I can't speak for you, but EMDR, used appropriately and discriminately, has been very helpful for me. It really does intensify but speed up processing. For instance, one thing I did EMDR over bothered me since it happened 20 years ago. When I think about it now, it is not distressing to me, and it has not seemed distressing since I discussed it and then did EMDR over it about a year ago.

I'm starting grad school to be a T, and when I graduate, I plan to become certified in EMDR 1, as I believe it can be invaluable.

Again, welcome to this forum, and I hope you find the support that you are looking for on here.