Well, um, dressing up and role playing, is actually akin to the Dom/sub lifestyle.

So, if I were the OP, I'd perhaps, have a talk with the Mrs. and find out, specifically what she wants from the fantasy of being dominated.

For some, it's about a new lifestyle. And for others, sadly, it's reenacting something from a painful past, and that may need to be addressed in therapy, as to avoid any 'flashback' moment.

Wanting a little more force, isn't that uncommon, as it sounds.