maybe the problem isn't the cognitive distortions...

the best techniques for phobias aren't actually the 'cognitive' aspects of CBT they are the behavioural aspects. The aspects that teach you via EXPERIENCE that things are okay rather than the 'tell yourself one hundred times a day and then you will believe it' strategy (which might well work were it not for the unfortunate fact that some emotional responses are ENCAPSULATED from higher cognitive processes).

Personally, I've never found too much learning to be a bad thing. If a t thinks it is then in my experience is that we are not well suited. There are t's out there who APPRECIATE their clients taking an active involvement in their recovery and they understand that learning about it is one way of attempting to do that. I've never found it to be problematic that I know what t is going to say (that happens as you start to internalise their responses anyway). What I do have problems with, however, is lack of empathy. Whether your t was empathetic or not sure doesn't sound like empathy was conveyed to you...