Hi, Welcome to the forum. You are doing just fine, that is what the forum is here for to express our feelings and experiences and to support one another.
I am sure it took alot of courage to share this, and I thank you for sharing.

I am sorry to hear all that you have been through. For me many of these same issues past and present can overwhelm me as well. I find that when I jounal my feelings and just get it out, either on the fourm or in my own personal journal, at times it helps alot to release some of my emotional pain, just by writing it down or making a post as you have to let someone know how you feel.

Beginning professional emotional or mental health treatment is indeed scary. Though for me once I made the step, I was able to realize just how much I had been missing, and how much it helped me. I do hope you too can make that step into some type of professional help. Even if it is just calling a hotline and easing your way into it.

Finacual problems indeed can be a challenge. If your county or city has a community prgram based on your income, or program for those with limited resourses you may be able to recieve help through them. Many states have programs like Medicaid or public assistance through the state. I am on Medicaid and it pays for my sessions.

For some more advice on Therapy and finacual advice in this you may want to visit the psycotherapy board there is alot on there in regards to these issues.

I hope you will keep us posted in how you are doing, and I do hope you continue to post on the forum.

Best Wishes-
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!