I think I'm going to sleep early tonight just to escape my thoughts. I feel them in the background. Starting indirectly. I feel like going off meds again; I hate that feeling. I also hate the feeling of not having that much energy, wanting to sleep in too much, not feeling as motivated as I want to be... But off meds, I'd be tons worse, I know that. And yet I keep having this debate with myself. My ups and downs... it feels like they're bubbling under the surface. I'm going to make myself sleep early and see how I feel tomorrow.

I stayed up late last night for no good reason—I wonder if that's affecting my mood today. I've been horrible about sticking to routines, like taking my meds at a certain time, updating my mood tracker, brushing my teeth at night.... I just don't feel like it. And I don't like that. Oh, I don't know, I'm just going to go sleep and stop blabbering to myself. Part of me feels like staying up, but I'm going to be proactive and not let myself drown in my thoughts.