I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. ((hugs)) I have dreams that mirror reality all the time, it tends to suck. I think I remember you posting that you are no longer in therapy? Maybe time to find a new T? I'm a big proponent of therapy over meds, so I tend to suggest that a lot. Sorry if it's frustrating. Is there anything that helps lift the depression, even a tiny bit? I like spending time with my animals or in nature, so I try to do that when I can. Do you have anything like that? Art? Music? Movies? Sports? People? Places? A specific food or drink? ((hugs))