Today I feel like crawling out if my skin. Every time I get touched I wanna smack the crap out if the toucher which is unfortunately my toddler. I'm afraid of myself right now. My DBT skills aren't working or I'm not using them correctly or something. I'm afraid of what in going to do today since yesterday was a total disaster. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt my toddler but I can't tell anyone that because dcpp will be here in two seconds to take him away from me.

My husband is at work. I took my last vistaril already. I am scared of myself and can't tell anyone.

Can't call my T she's not available on Sundays same for pdoc. So I have to hold on for tomorrow.

I know I can do it I'm an adult ******mit that is what hubby said I have to stop acting like a child and he is right this is all in my head nothing is real and I don't know what is real anyway I'm acting like a brat and I just need to stop the BS. It's in my head it's in my head it's inn my head.

Thanks for caring.