(((hugs))) If you are concerned about your safety or the safety of your family...it may be time for ER. only you know when its time. just for another point of view (if you do not want to involve your husband) can you call a crisis hotline? It sounds like things are rough and you could sure use some understanding support. Please take care of yourself and don't be concerned with anyone who tells you your acting childish or that it is in your head. Just keep in mind that you need to be safe and your toddler needs to be safe. Do whatever it takes to make that happen, even if that means making "the call". I will hold you in good thoughts and continue to send support and hugs your way.