Sorry, as I said, couple of tense bad days, family stuff going on in the background which was uncomfortable also contributing to my stress.

The thing about it is, I am usually a very good problem solver, and this one I can't resolve. It is as simple as just letting it go, I know tht, but I can't. The conclusions I come up with in my mind are laughably ridiculous when looked at objectively. I know intellectually I'm a nice guy, I am about as opposite from the monster my father was as is possible to be. I know that if people found out I was in a psych treatment program, there would be reactions, but it wouldn't be like they just found out I was a murderer or sex offender. I know I'm not going to end up homeless on the street, I have very in-demand marketable job skills and employment history.

I have an appointment this week with the psychiatrist - the NEW one who has been nothing but kind and professional and helpful. I intend to make this topic A with her, and hope that she will be able to offer me some guidance and reassurance.