Hello I hope things are better at this time. I am going to leave you 2 hotline numbers to call if you need to talk to someone in person 1-800-273-TALK and 1-800DONT-CUT. I hope you feel better soon, you did not say that you were seeing a therapist, but it may be time to see someone to learn how to communicate, more effectively so the cutting does not have to be the only form of communication that you have when youare feling pain, and sad and lonely. You may email anytime take care Sincerely Soidhonia