2 almosts...

on friday I walked out of twon about 2 miles up a nearby hill and sat there for over an hour with a gun at about 5am... but I couldn't do it...

and today I spent ages stearing at a pile of drugs (i'm sort of an addict, but trying to get clean) wanting to take them all at once... I even prepared some, easily strong enough to kill me, but that I just couldn't do it...