You keep nearly trying because you are hurting and need things to change, the depression is telling you to die is the only way to change, and that's a lie.

You can't complete because you really don't want to die, you "just" want things to quit being so miserable for you, you want to feel better etc.

Yes, withdrawal, and whatever was the reason you took meds in the first place (depression???) can be why your mind is so dark now.

What is there about meds that you can change this week????