Yes. An existence of panic and crisis, a world of turmoiling emotion that sways you from one end to the other, almost drowning you and killing you slowly.....
and that's all on the inside.

on the outside it all business. Poker face. No one will ever know.
at least not until you completely break. But as long as there is even the slightest bit of will left in you, then no one will ever know more than you feel sick, like the flu one day or that you are angry.

anger hides most of the external symptoms that people would otherwise see.

I understand completely keeping it all in and never showing it.
Because if you even start to let it all out, it would destroy you. It is just too big and powerful to ever, ever let out.

I hope that you do not feel alone, and that there is no such thing as posting too much.