Quote:
Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled
Although she has taken a calls during sessions, the calls have never lasted for entire the 50 minutes--maybe 1-3 min max.
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I'm sorry to keep trashing your T - I know it's painful to have people do that - but I really don't think this is okay. Others may differ. But I do not think your T should be taking calls in your session, end of. It's YOUR SESSION!
Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
sometimes my therapist would get up, go to her desk and use her time more wisely by getting other things done. While I sat there twiddling my thumbs, looking around the room, texting, she would take/make phone calls during my sessions too..
how rude right..
finally one day I got angry and asked her what she was doing, I pay for this session why was she over there and not with me.
her response was...you're right. this is your time but this is also my time. when you come in here non responsive, non talkative or one word answers that get us no where, not participating, dodging my questions, and other deflecting/negative behaviors that show me you either dont want to be here/dont want to work on your problems or just need a place to be quiet and think...thats a waste of my time. you have choices and so do I. therapy isnt a one way dead end street. it takes two to travel this journey, but if you dont need me then I am not going to waste my time. Im not going to sit here and poke, pry, bribe, beg ....to get you to engage in therapy. how and what you use your time in therapy for is up to you, but I wont be wasting my time. you are free to tell me any time that you need my help with something and I will be willing to come back to the therapy session with you.
then she went back to making scheduling calls/doing her paper work/organizing files. then let me know our session was over.
After that I understood she wasnt abandoning me or being rude. She was making a point and she was just using her part of the therapy session wisely if I did not need her.
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So I'm a little wary of criticising as you presented this in a way that suggests you think it's okay. But I am really quite shocked by this. A therapist who behaves like this is NOT doing her job. Maybe you need patience, maybe you need silence, maybe you need her presence, maybe what you need isn't about talking. And if talking isn't the right thing for you, if you can't or you don't want to, your T's job is to be there with you anyway, not to accuse you of wasting time. Your T should be there with you in the moment.
Maybe it's something to do with her approach or modality or whatever, idk, but this would be game over for me. How did she get from not talking to not needing her? I'm sorry but that IS rude, and I would feel abandoned. I saw a T like this once. She put me off therapy for ten years by telling me she couldn't help me if I didn't talk - I'm still angry about it now and my T has had to spend months and months reassuring me that I don't have to do anything except show up.