Therapist did not respond to my request and pdoc is not here till tomorrow. Another drug day seeing as it's raining so I can go for my walk or run through the park.

This is what I did in group.

Your biology never goes away! It stays inside your head! Your head will never leave. All you can do is try to control it in a way that makes sense - for everybody, not you alone! My sense is different from your sense. My sense has been deemed unhealthy by the world. My biology has been deemed disordered and I - I just want to live! I just want all these thoughts to make sense - my sense - your sense - sense for everyone who needs some sense. And I cannot just make SENSE of it all but no one will help me today. I'm on my own manic and I said no I'm not crazy you're crazy but it seems I am crazy just a little bit and I couldn't care less at this point in my life.

Fresh paper is all I need to keep me on an even keel except - except what except who accept you accept me for who I am! Stop trying to drug me stop trying to poison me with your chemicals STOP. And sit. And listen to the sounds of electricity humming going through the air. Listen to the hum of the electricity in this lonely life and know you are never alone as long as there's light!

Nurse just said She's tryin to get a doctor to see me. Good maybe I'll get an AP that I can't afford anyway.