Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
My guess is you feel guilty because you understand that underneath it all is the person you love, you can't help her and you can't even join her. It's just my opinion though.
I would certainly suggest considering a therapist for yourself as well. Dealing with this isn't something you should take on by yourself.
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I have started seeing one and its just more confusion. I'm told to take care of myself and the kids first. But my gut keeps me focused on my wife. And this is to our detriment. Your absolutely correct that deep down under all of her illness and symptoms is the woman I love. It feels a lot like my wife died. She's still here but I can't find her. I'm mourning the marriage and loss of her while she's staring at me. I really am afraid of what will happen if I leave but terrified now of staying. It's been a few months since she last threatened suicide so I've had a welcome break from that. I am a grown man with zero ability to fix anything. I feel hopeless and like a failure. But the logical side of me says opposite. It just that the emotions are so strong. I get the courage and resolve to move on and start the process but then she smiles promises and all my resolutions and decisions become sand in my hands falling away even faster as I try and hold on and remember them . This whole situation is like a joke. I anticipate her next move and bam she on the other side of the street. All I can do is throw up.