I didn't know if I should put this here or in the bipolar forum.

My son Jason died on 1/3/13 of a heroin overdose. He was my only child.

Being an only child we always made a fuss over his birthdays. His birthday is coming up this Saturday 8/17.

I thought I had a handle on my grief, but it is hitting me like a freight train. I am so depressed and sad I can barely move.

My thoughts are filled with images of finding him dead. I feel for the first time, with intensity, that I can't go on living without him.

I have had bipolar disorder since I was a teen. I am no stranger to the pain and anguish of depression. But this pain is in a whole other league.

To make it worse we have lived in this house since Jason was born. Our next door neighbors just had their first baby a son.

Jason's only girlfriend that lived with us, they had been together since they were 16, just had a baby with this guy that looks just like Jason. She broke up with Jason in the summer of 2011.

He never got over her.