Sounds like your life is like a rollercoaster. Anyone would feel angry, fed up and distant with this kind of behavior going on. You are going to have to decide if you can live with this behavior the rest of your life if you marry him. His behavior is not likely to change. Even if he does love you, this kind push and pull behavior can only cause you pain. It's up to you if you are going to take it. Best wishes whatever you decided.
Gayle