I can relate!!! 31 months ago my bipolar son was killed when he took himself to the hospital because he had been off his meds for 4 days and he was suicidal. The doctor obviously did not consider drug interaction because Jordan had a .10 alcohol and was positive for diazepams. The doctor ordered klonopin and oxycontin. My son had respiratory arrest and died 5 days later.

My oldest son committed suicide Feb. 5, 2013. He was very sick and not taking meds.

My husband is 17 years older than I and for the past year has been very sick. He's been hospitalized 6 times with kidney failure and serious cardiac problems. Every day is a blessing with him.

Although I want the house company ready at any time, it just doesn't happen. I've lost so much and will lose more in the future. I just don't know when. He can be fine one day and seriously ill the next.

So, no, you are not alone. I've yet to find support that eases my pain. I'm on the verge of tears or crying most days. I'm angry at myself for not doing the things I think I should.