I just feel so trapped and insanely depressed. Like it's taking everything in me right now to not just go get a knife. I feel like I sound so damn pathetic too. I think I'm gonna stay on this site for awhile tonight, I'm pretty much on the verge of doing something terrible.

I'm trying so hard right now to pretend to not be crying because I know if she came in here and saw me crying I'd be getting screamed at. I'm in a %#@&#! crazy house and there's nothing I can do about it.