And we don't like it.

Both of us come from dysfunctional/abusive backgrounds. I grew up in Kentucky, and he grew up in California, but we met in Washington and live here now. We've been married for almost 5 years.

He keeps dreaming he's stuck in California, and can't get back here to me. I keep dreaming he has sent me away and I'm moving in with my family at my grandmother's house in Kentucky. Note, her house was the one constant in my childhood, a symbol of security and stability, even though some dysfunctional things happened there too. But she's been gone a couple of years, and the house has been sold. In real life, even if something did happen between me and Mike, there is nothing in Kentucky for me to go back to, no place I could stay. That door has closed. But in the dreams...

Last night, both of us had "that dream" again.

Mine was so amazingly detailed. I could see every trinket. I could feel the gravel under my feet in the driveway. I could see the ruts in the back yard where the dogs had been digging. At the back door, I reached up to touch the eaves. I could feel the wood and the shingles. I wondered if I was dreaming again, told myself, "wake up," but nothing happened. Pinched myself, but it didn't work.

Now comes the part that is more unusual. Finally I "woke up" to my relief in my husband's arms, and he kissed me. Except I hadn't really woke up. It was still part of the dream. The house we were in was actually much bigger than our real-life house is. I started toward the kitchen to make breakfast, and I met my grandmother, the former owner of the Kentucky house. I could tell she was a ghost, because I could see through her. She assured me that my husband loves me, and then she said something to me that I couldn't make out. I told her I was missing her key words, and she repeated it. "Knock nothing out of the hand you're under." Then she started walking away, and as I said, "Thank you, Mammaw, I love you," she vanished into thin air.

The only sense I can make out of her words is that Mammaw loved birds, and as a child growing up on a farm, her favorite chore was feeding the chickens. If you're a bird, or specifically a chicken, and you're under a hand, most likely that hand is full of food. Knock the food out of the hand, and it might fall someplace you can't get it. Maybe Mammaw was telling me to wait for things to come in their proper time, instead of trying to rush at the hand that's holding it, and take a chance on spilling it.

Anyway, my husband and I would both like to see an end to these dreams. Any thoughts?