i can only think in rhyme and reason but reason seems to be missing. i don't know how i can go act normal with all these thoughts swirling through my head.

keep hearing voices worse than before muffled so far away i can't hear what they're saying but i think maybe someone's trying to contact me but i know that's not real it can't be who would want to talk to me anyway?

i have to go pretend to be normal for awhile and i don't see how i can do that. i feel completely unreal right now. i feel like i'm on a different planet than anyone else.

i hope the dr tomorrow will help me more than the dr today. i hope she'll at least refill my PRNs so i can drug myself until i come down from here, i have to get down someday and i'm so rapidly cycling i can't stay up here forever, right? RIGHT? what goes up up up must go down down down and at least i can think clear when i'm depressed.