first of all you need to find a pdoc who will listen to you. i refuse to go back on lithium because of the side effects. they are terrible for me and i will never take that stuff again. i realize it helps a lot of people a great deal but for me the side effects aren't worth it. but in any case if you don't have a pdoc who will listen then how can you help yourself? Pdocs can recommend but only YOU can decide whether a medication is working for you or not. and sometimes the side effects are just not worth it.

there's a million other mood stabilizers with less side effects - trileptal, lamictal, depakote (bad liver damage), tegretol, topomax.....just to name a few.

also therapy such as DBT therapy can help you manage your emotions in addition to medication so you might have to take less or maybe even get off them alltogether.

as for taking yourself off your medication, you need to be careful. i'm not sure whether lithium has bad withdrawal effects or not; i know SSRIs do. i'm not sure what lithium can do to you if you suddenly stop taking it.

find a pdoc who will listen!!! There are so many out there who don't care about their patients' opinions and that's just wrong.

welcome to PC and i hope you find the support you need here.