My husband and I have not slept in the same bed for about 15 years. After having kids, I became a very light sleeper. He gained a little weight and started snoring. He grinds his teeth, moves his legs and feet all night, and pulls the covers to his side. I was always tired and resentful when we tried to sleep together.

I don't volunteer the information, but if the subject comes up, people learn that we sleep apart. It doesn't really bother me that other people know.

Do I wish we could sleep in the same bed? Yes, definitely! It would make me feel more connected to him and probably lead to more sex. Our two teenagers stay up as late or later than us. It would be obvious what we were up to if my husband and I retired to one bedroom, and then later one of us went to another room to sleep. Although we're pretty open about sex with our kids, I don't really want them to know the exact moment we're doing it! If we slept together, that would be the norm and no questions asked.

As it is now, we plan our 'conjugal' visits to times when the kids are gone. Actually, we have tried to retire to separate rooms then have one of us sneak into the other's room. When my 14 year old walked in on us (he was just going to ask his dad a question--didn't think he was asleep yet), it was quite awkward! Probably more information than you were looking for.

Anyway, about 1/2 of the married people I know sleep in separate rooms, though I admit my circle of family/friends is small.